Eazy piezy US border crossing app • Gavin vs Donnie • Daddy • Haunted Forest • Sit Happens • Sign & Shine • Big Money
WtF - issue #52 🛬💨🧢💥🇺🇸 🍀🏆🌕🪓🌽 🪑🏬🌟💵🎶
🎉 Welcome to What Thinks Fritz #52 — the stars, stripes, and slightly unhinged edition! 🇺🇸
America’s been playing hide-and-seek with global relevance lately, so we thought: why not slap it back on the map with a full-blown USA USA USA special? Because let’s face it—we’re just one baby burp away from the 2026 World Cup kickoff (June 11, mark your calendars, soccer moms and chaos dads since tickets are on sale NOW).
And to celebrate all this WINNING, we’re giving away DADDY to loyal readers who recruit fresh victims— eh, subscribers. Uncle Sam wants YOU… to know Daddy’s home. 🍭🦅
Follow WtF on Instagram to stay inspired, enjoy, share, share, SUBSCRIBE and/or buy us a coffee (membership) ☕️!
MPC App 🛬💨
Zoom through U.S. Customs like a boss 🛬💨 The MPC app is your fast pass to skip the passport line. Free, official, and blessed by CBP. Less waiting, more vacationing. You're welcome. 😎
Gavin vs Donnie Merch 🧢💥🇺🇸
Shopping at Gavin Newsom’s merch store feels like crashing a political drag show hosted by your woke cousin—“Daddy Newsom” tees, “Trump Is Not Hot” hats, and even a parody Holy Bible (sold out, obviously). Meanwhile, Trump’s store is like a MAGA-themed Bass Pro Shop: camo hoodies, “Never Surrender” mugs, and enough red hats to summon a firetruck. Gavin’s gear screams satire with sequins; Trump’s screams patriotism with protein powder. One sells “Make America Gavin Again,” the other sells “Make America Great Again”—but only one has a shirt featuring Gavin and Hulk Hogan. Your move, Donnie. 😉.
Who’s Your Daddy? 🍀🏆
Introducing the only sugar that’s politically spicy and naturally sweet: Daddy—those luscious sugar cane pieces that melt in your mouth and maybe stir up a little international drama. Want a taste? Follow WtF on Instagram and just send the email address (to whatthinksfritz@gmail.com) of one (or preferably more, darling) subscribers to What Thinks Fritz and you could win a box of Daddy so sweet it makes NATO blush. It’s global affairs with a sugar rush. It’s Daddy, and he’s (almost at your) home. 🍬👔💅
Markoff’s Haunted Forest 🌕🪓🌽
🎃 Halloween is creeping closer… and in the U.S., haunted forests are sprouting like cursed mushrooms after a thunderstorm. One of the eeriest? Just an hour from downtown D.C., lurking near the ghostly White’s Ferry on the Potomac. By late September, the night air there isn’t just chilly—it’s thick with dread.
💀 For around $25, you’ll be hunted by chainsaw maniacs, stalked by vampires whose breath chills your spine, and hopelessly lost in a cornfield maze that spits you out into a deranged Wild West village where the cowboys don’t blink… and the saloon doors creak on their own. Enter if you dare. Exit if you can. Markoff’s Haunted Forest. 🌕🪓🌽
Sit Happens🪑
They say American design is like their culture: big, bold, and never shy to make a statement even if it’s sometimes bigger than the room😉… Step into the MillerKnoll Archives in Michigan, where 12,000 square feet of design history come alive. Iconic pieces from legends like Eames and Saarinen mingle with rare prototypes, showing how their work reshaped our homes and offices. These designs aren’t just furniture; they’re game-changers that blend style, function, and comfort, inspiring today and tomorrow.
Sign & Shine 🏬🌟
David Barnett is like the “daddy” of New York’s signs, rescuing these legends before they vanish. Each sign tells a story, preserving the city’s soul and keeping alive memories one flicker at a time. He’s not just saving signs; he’s maintaining the heartbeat of the city—one vintage treasure at a time. Curious? Dive deeper into his mission and the art of preservation:
Big Money 💵🎶
Jon Batiste’s new album Big Money is here—and it’s not just rich in name, it’s dripping in groove 💸🎶. The former bandleader of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (yes, that guy who made jazz cool while Colbert made jokes land) has traded his nightly TV gig for a sonic roller coaster that blends soul, funk, blues, and a dash of climate-conscious swagger.
Thanks for reading.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for following us on Instagram.
Thanks for spinning our fresh music playlist.
Thanks for listening to our biweekly WtFritzcast.
Thanks to AmericA Magazine for inspiration, support, ☮️ & ❤️
Keep enjoying that summer vacation and till #53!
Gijs & Robert